My Self Introduction
Dear Professor Blackstone,
I hope this email finds you well. I am Jarrett Ng and I
pursued aeronautical engineering at Singapore Polytechnic. During my BMT, I
decided to sign on as a Naval Engineer. I had always had a keen interest in
warships, especially the combat systems behind the gunnery onboard the
warships. How does this gun system work? I had always loved finding out what
each part of the component is for in the overall system and how does it work.
Hence, I decided to pursue mechanical engineering here at SIT to enhance my
understanding in engineering.
My weakness in communication lies in my confidence in
speaking. Throughout my whole life, I always have an issue with projecting my
voice and sharing my ideas. I would often start off a presentation with a shaky
voice and only becoming more stable as the presentation goes on. Despite all
the presentations I had went through, I always seem to go back to where I was
originally. Being an introvert does not help to improve my communication to
others. After I signed on and went through leadership school in the military, I
have built up my confidence slightly more with the opportunities given to speak
up in front of people. I realise that my strength in communication lies in clear
communication. I like to keep my messages short, simple, and straight to the
point. At work, I aim to ensure that my message is understood by everyone.
Being straight to the point is what I do best.
Moving on to the goals I have for this module, I would like
to focus on two goals. Firstly, I would like to improve my confidence in
speaking. This would improve how I present myself to others and have people
trust the facts that I am presenting. People do doubt what I present as I come
off as unsure when I am presenting due to my low confidence while presenting.
Secondly, I would like to sharpen my critical thinking. I want to focus on how
sharp the information I present to others is. Am I giving too much information
or too little information? I want to think more critically about what I present
to others.
I would like to thank you for taking the time to read this
email and I look forward to your classes!
Yours sincerely,
Jarrett Ng
Commented On: Dillon, Zhi Xian & Jared [Updated as of 1434H on 18/09/2024 ]
Hello Jarrett,
ReplyDeleteIt was great to read your letter and find out more about you. I wouldn't have known that you are not confident in speaking as what you demonstrated in class shows otherwise. I too relate with you on keeping the messages short and straight to the point when presenting to others as it helps to clearly convey the message across.
As for the technical part of the letter, the organization and the flow of the letter is excellent and you were able to clearly describe the points that were required with concrete examples. I hope to get to know you more over the next few weeks!
Hi Jarrett, I really liked how you've linked your passion for warship systems with your journey in engineering, and how you've set clear goals for improving your communication skills. Your character coupled with your experience in OCS shows a strong dedication to overcoming challenges, You mentioned that you wanted to work on your confidence and i think that's a good step in the right direction!. Keep building on that confidence! I know you'll do great! Jiayous!
ReplyDeleteHi Jarrett! Having read your email, I thoroughly enjoyed it! I like the personal touch of you sharing your personal interests, and I can also feel the honesty and genuineness from your willingness to improve! However, some of the sentences could be slightly tweaked for better cohesiveness and flow.
ReplyDeleteFor instance, "How does this gun system work? I had always loved finding out what each part of the component is for in the overall system and how does it work?" could be rephrased as "I have always been fascinated by how each component works within the overall system, and would often find myself asking: 'How does this gun system work?' ", whilst still overall attempting to capture the same essence.
Other than that, the email is well-structured, with a clear general flow, making it easy to follow (Clear PEEL structure).